Voicemails from my Mom

A brief glimpse into the world of my mom and our relationship. My mom's voicemails are priceless. She has a flair for melodrama that has to be seen (or heard) to believe. The last year or so has also taught me a lot about life and death; I hope that these will always be there to help me remember my mom.

If you get the chance to meet my mom, you should jump on it; otherwise these audio clips are the next best thing.

I do wonder if there could be a reality TV show that follows my mom around. It would work well with a teamster's schedule, given my mom's napping habbits.

  • Sleeping Pills

    So my mom must have a new pusher for cough medicine, but for sleeping pills, she comes to the MAN. That's me.  She always forgets the sleeping pills she needs so this message is a Two-fer.  Quite the special dea.

    1:04 minutes (309.78 KB)
  • Gladys in Texas may be a new BFF for my mom.

    "I love Jesus, but I drink a little" reminds me of the time that my mom got a bit tipsy (That's what I call her Tipsy-Lu) after a rough day. It was the day that my mom went to the funeral home to make plans for my dad's funeral. She enjoyed her Amaretto that night. She said she had one sip, it tasted good and she then had more.

  • Blow Out the Eardrums

    This is classic mom melodrama... and I love it. Short, sweet and to the point.
    0:08 minutes (94.55 KB)
  • I Will Not Stop Trying

    Mom's got it covered and she will not stop trying. Nothing too humorous here but just another indication that my mom is not planning on giving up and that is a reason to be proud of the crazy lady I call mom.
    0:18 minutes (213.39 KB)
  • The Cat Fell out of Bed

    This is an odd message... evidently my mom thinks the cat fell out of bed and took the inhaler with her. Huzzah!
    0:16 minutes (197.35 KB)
  • Phillipino Christmas Party

    I love the entry on this one: "This happens to be your mother," as if another person might try to impersonate her. This messages goes further into her medication, the Phillipino Christmas party, the politics of the wellness office and her lack of cell phone (the cell phone that fell in the wine glass).
    1:00 minutes (732.6 KB)
  • Dad's Ashes are Smoking!

    That night before this message was my work Christmas party in Greek town. It was a fun night. Evidently my mom was overly concerned that I stayed home from work the following day. I was at work and on time so I don't know what her problem was with this, except that she likes the drama. Plus she got to say "Your dad's already smoking" referring to his ashes!
    0:19 minutes (234.68 KB)
  • Cell Phone in the Wine Glass

    A cell phone in the wine glass? Jesus, she should be on a WNBA team.

    I mean honestly, how the hell did she do that?

    0:26 minutes (313.27 KB)
  • Never Gets to the Bathroom

    This woman will never get to the bathroom... she's one popular lady! At least she knows she's not good in the morning, you know at noon or whenever she wakes up!

    0:22 minutes (265.09 KB)
  • There's a Rifle Aimed at Your Butt... Because the Phone Won't Stop Ringing

    Evidently my mom has a rifle aimed at my butt at her front door because her phone does not stop ringing.

    She specifically asked me to put this message on the Web and how can I deny that request?

    Listen and enjoy!

    0:38 minutes (464.63 KB)