The man is so dry he makes day-old toast seem dripping wet! In fact, I am sure I've heard a joke from him on NPR about getting sliced bread... not only the joke but whatever audience was out there laughed. These people need to drink more cause they're dehydrated with all this 'dry' humor around them.
Now this one is a little tougher. And it has a long story to start it off. To start, I have a magentic problem, perhaps I have my own magnetic field and I hear that's what all the cool kids want these days --- to have their own magnetic fields. Anyway, I cannot wear a watch because I will wear the battery down in about three days. My mom and my partner, Pat, got word of this on a long car ride back from a family party in the suburbs and basically decided to auction me off as a Vegas side show attraction. Jesus Christ people! Clearly, my interests were unimportant.
