Thanks for stopping by and visiting machobeagle.com. Perhaps you want to hear my mom leave me voicemails? Or know about my running list of archenemies and nemesies to keep me spry into my old age. Or you just want to know what music I am listening to and what books I am reading, regardless, you'll find it all here!

Manifesto: everyone had one; I need one.

Uri Geller

Now this one is a little tougher. And it has a long story to start it off. To start, I have a magentic problem, perhaps I have my own magnetic field and I hear that's what all the cool kids want these days --- to have their own magnetic fields. Anyway, I cannot wear a watch because I will wear the battery down in about three days. My mom and my partner, Pat, got word of this on a long car ride back from a family party in the suburbs and basically decided to auction me off as a Vegas side show attraction. Jesus Christ people! Clearly, my interests were unimportant.

More About Me...

Me... Who am I?
Who am I? What a good question to ask.
Here is a list of numbers for you to decipher:
6.22153.407.5773412.597

Dude, I'm totally gay

Bonafide proof, eh?

You don't believe me... you need bonafide proof I am homersexual.
How do I know I'm gay?

Because I sleep with men? nope, lots of "straight" men do that... even though they walk funny the next day.

Because I dress fabulously?
no... I don't. Most of my clothes come from the Salvation Army.

There are countless reasons I could refute, but to be honest, let me tell you a little story about a nightmare I had...

Why bother having archenemies?

Perhaps it's a long story, but really, it isn't. Basically, people in my family tend to live quite a while. That's good. But, I figure I might get bored as I get older. I noticed older people (older men to be specific) tend to be crouchy. I think this might be the key to their longetivity. If you always have something to bitch about, you'll always have something to do.
I intend to take this theory a step further. On the assumption that having arch-enemies I will always have a reason 'to be' as I age: to foil my arch-enemies.

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