Teaming up with my archnemesis to take on an archenemy

One of the defining terms that separates an archenemy from an archnemesis is this single question:



Would you team up with said enemy/nemesis to defeat a greater evil?


If you can answer, "Yes, I would team up," then you, my friend, have just defined an archenemy. Such is that case with me, Garrison Keillor and Mayonnaise.

First, I needed to research my archnemesis' history with mayonnaise and I find it to be a varied history with some dark elements, which is positive for me since it gives me an "in" to get Mr. Keillor on my side.

Being lazy, the first place I looked was the Internets. Turns out that Garisson Keillor believes that one of our "Unalienable rights include decent potato salad." Lest you say this would make him a fan of mayonnaise, but I believe the dreaded condiment may be an archnemesis to Garrison Keillor. Of course, this adds an element of difficulty. Couldn't they team up to depose me from my thrown? Yes... yes they could.

At this point, I am quite glad that I have a handle bar mustache that I can curl up with my devious thoughts. I have just decided that in order to get my team together I will have to tackle this in the summer... the hot summer... when mayonnaise in a perfect potato salad can turn bad and force all of Lake Wobegon's finest citizens to the hospital, invariably killing some of the weaker ones.

It will be at that moment that I can turn him to an ally and hope that his rage will fuel the first to destroy mayonnaise for once and for all!