Gladys in Texas may be a new BFF for my mom.

"I love Jesus, but I drink a little" reminds me of the time that my mom got a bit tipsy (That's what I call her Tipsy-Lu) after a rough day. It was the day that my mom went to the funeral home to make plans for my dad's funeral. She enjoyed her Amaretto that night. She said she had one sip, it tasted good and she then had more.

My sister and I helped my mom get into bed that night as she was quite schnookered and who can blame her, she just planned my dad's funeral. That night she fell out of bed. Being a mostly sensible woman, she called 911 to ask for help getting up. It can take them a few minutes to get to her so she used this "down time" effectively; she called the church. Her intention was to tell the church that she would like to have services for my dad at the church. Unfortunately, she was on her back, on the floor and possibly drunk; certainly tipsy.

Let's just say her message must have been slurred.

Imagine getting to the church the next morning and getting a call from my mom in the middle of the night... the church knew my dad's health was in decline and they made the appropriate assumption: my dad had passed away. So the pastor announced in church that my dad had died.

The pastor called me in the afternoon to condole me on the bad news... but since I didn't know of any bad news and had just seen my dad, I figured we were okay. I did put 2 + 2 together and let the pastor know my mom had a few drinks the night before and I would get to the bottom of the story.

I called my mom and found out that she did not call me when she fell but emergency services. She also told me that while she was waiting she called the church, because she might as well get a jump on things. 1am is as good a time as any, right?

I called the pastor back, let him know Tipsy Lu was having a rough day and explained that my mom wanted to ask if, when my dad passed away, we could have the services at his church. He was incredibly apologetic though I don't think he needed to apologize at all; he was doing the right thing.

My mom is really embarassed by this story, but I think it is hilarious.

Unfortunately, my dad did pass away a week after this story happened on the following Sunday afternoon, but I think he smiles knowing my mom is still pulling crazy shit and making people laugh and making the rest of the world a little crazier. I think he knows that she was not just trying to make him crazy, she wants to make everyone crazy.

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